Who the hell is that female newsreader responsible for the voiceovers on just about all of their stories?

If you've ever had the displeasure of turning on your TV at that hour and hearing her voice break on every word then you'll know what I'm talking about. I don't know how else to describe it. It's so unbearable I have to either mute her and try make sense of the video alone or switch channels. In fact I'd even go as far to say that I'd prefer to have her replaced with Felicia, Barry Ronge or that anorexic Aussie newsreader (But it's ok, she's married to a saffer!) who bobs up and down. But not Gareth Cliff, I prefer him on radio. That way every time I hear him, I'm reminded of a little game I like to play, where I pretend he's the cat's eyes on the road. It's sweet, I drive over him 100 times a day.

This newsreader reminds of a girl in Primary School Grade 5, standing in front of the class for an oral. She ended her final word with a tone suggesting that she wasn't finished when in fact she was, leaving the entire class sitting in anticipation for more, only to have her sit down. Like a joke without a punchline.

And while on the topic of newsreaders and jokes, I received this joke from Nat which is doing the rounds. Sometimes cruel but always classic... for example:

Some people believe Riaan Cruywagen wears a toupee - he has, in fact, one perfect hair. The one that covers his entire head - giving it that, 'not quite real' look.

And for good measure here's another, an oldie before tomorrow's potentially series-clinching game.

From K-TV presenter, to M-Net continuity announcer, to potential Baywatch babe (aww, she turned them down), to desperate hair commercials - to now full-on rock chick? And all over the web as well (including fake nudes, porn stories, etc...). She can't seem to stay out of the spotlight.

For someone who has graced the cover of just about every local magazine, my opinion of her changed slightly from the stereotyped attention-deprived Patricia Lewis-like poppie to a more down-to-earth kinda girl after seeing and hearing her interview on TV (Jerry Springer Saturday Night Live, possibly?) quite a while ago. Boy was that impression short lived.

But all things said, she truly cannot sing - listen for yourself - despite what her critics claim. Give me JLH any day.

Says songwriter Clive Young: "Sure, Candice looks as good as Kylie and Holly and our other TV talent making it hit pop songs. But she has far more edge in her music. She writes poetry and sings rock, and her music is up to the highest Australian standards.

I say, good for them, I'm happy as long as she stays on our magazine covers and off our radio stations. And she could really do with a decent website! ;)