The death of Private Stanley Mellish

I always feel a little excluded and cheated when I’m watching a movie scene that involves a foreign language, but no translation subtitles are provided. Case in point, this morning I lay awake watching the second half of Saving Private Ryan. I’m not a big fan of war stories, but the “Knife Fight” scene stuck with me for a … view full post

Dares at work

One-point dares:

• Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
• To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
• Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
• Walk sideways to the photocopier.
• While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors

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Church Bulletins

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

• The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
• The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.”
  The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
• Ladies, don’t forget the rummage (yard) sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.

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T-GIF

I thought I’d end this week off with some lighthearted humour, so I designed the following t-shirt (click to view full size). T-GIF! Have a good weekend all.

Riaan Cruywagen

• Riaan Cruywagen never has his back to you, in fact Riaan has no back.
• Riaan Cruywagen is fluent in twenty seven of the eleven official languages.
• Riaan Cruywagen knows the news before it happens.
• Riaan Cruywagen knew you would say that.
• Riaan Cruywagen is cryogenically frozen every night for EXACTLY eight hours. His brain impulses are monitored during this and used as templates for

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Proteas vs Wallabies

A little South African girl was sitting in her classroom in Australia, when her teacher walked in and started talking about how proud she is to be an Australian and how wonderful it is to be a Wallaby supporter. The teacher then asked everyone who supported the Wallabies to put up their hand. Every hand in the class besides one … view full post

SABC World News observation

SABC World News – SABC 3, after 12am. A question/observation/rant:

Who the hell is that female newsreader responsible for the voiceovers on just about all of their stories?

If you’ve ever had the displeasure of turning on your TV at that hour and hearing her voice break on every word then you’ll know what I’m talking about. I don’t know how else … view full post

A classic Zapiro!

© Jonathan Shapiro

Useless facts and thoughts

Via: http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/showThings.do

• There are 2 rules to being a success in life. 1. Never give out all the information.
• Don’t you hate it when someone asks you a question and you don’t know whether it’s rhetorical or not?
• What did the first person to milk a cow think they were doing?
• Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing

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Religions of the World

TAOISM – Shit happens

HARE KRISHNA – Shit happens rama rama ding ding

HINDUISM – This shit happened before

ISLAM – If shit happens, it is the will of Allah

ZEN – What is the sound of shit happening?

BUDDHISM – When shit happens, is it really shit?

CONFUCIANISM – Confucius say, “Shit happens”

7th DAY ADVENTISM – Shit happens on Saturdays

PROTESTANTISM – Shit won’t happen if … view full post