But after their dismal performance on the field tonight, I've realised that he's taught them exactly everything they need to know: how to drop catches, how not to dive for catches, and how to confuse each other over who will take the catch.

Good on you Allan - what a guy! As for Kevin Pietersen:

• Who The Fuck Is Kevin Pietersen?
• I would love to punch Kevin Pietersen
• Kevin Pietersen se p035
• Kevin Pietersen Sucks

And that's that. I'm off to watch the rest of the game and nurse my raging hangover after yesterday at Newlands!

UPDATE: w00t! South Africa beat England by 19 runs. Who's sorry now...

The Wanderers Stadium, jam-packed with 32 000 fans, on Sunday witnessed what has been dubbed the greatest one-day international ever as South Africa edged Australia by one wicket, with one ball to spare, in the highest scoring and most explosive ODI in history.

After a massive weekend, I somehow slept through it all. Eat your words, Mark Waugh! Well done boys!

"Well," said the little girl "because I don't support the Wallabies."

Even more surprised the teacher asked her whom she supported.

"I support the Proteas" she replied.

Now a bit irritated, the teacher asked the little girl why she supported the Proteas.

"My mom supports the Proteas and my dad supports the Proteas, so I support the Proteas."

The teacher looked at the little girl and with a smirk asked: "Well, if your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be?"

The little girl looked up at her teacher, smiled, and replied:

"A Wallaby supporter."

Who the hell is that female newsreader responsible for the voiceovers on just about all of their stories?

If you've ever had the displeasure of turning on your TV at that hour and hearing her voice break on every word then you'll know what I'm talking about. I don't know how else to describe it. It's so unbearable I have to either mute her and try make sense of the video alone or switch channels. In fact I'd even go as far to say that I'd prefer to have her replaced with Felicia, Barry Ronge or that anorexic Aussie newsreader (But it's ok, she's married to a saffer!) who bobs up and down. But not Gareth Cliff, I prefer him on radio. That way every time I hear him, I'm reminded of a little game I like to play, where I pretend he's the cat's eyes on the road. It's sweet, I drive over him 100 times a day.

This newsreader reminds of a girl in Primary School Grade 5, standing in front of the class for an oral. She ended her final word with a tone suggesting that she wasn't finished when in fact she was, leaving the entire class sitting in anticipation for more, only to have her sit down. Like a joke without a punchline.

And while on the topic of newsreaders and jokes, I received this joke from Nat which is doing the rounds. Sometimes cruel but always classic... for example:

Some people believe Riaan Cruywagen wears a toupee - he has, in fact, one perfect hair. The one that covers his entire head - giving it that, 'not quite real' look.

And for good measure here's another, an oldie before tomorrow's potentially series-clinching game.

Why is it whenever something goes tragically wrong in a situation which can be affected by any of a multitude of unexpected events, someone has to take the blame? Bull shit opinions from cocksucking blamestormers and reporters. If you're looking to blame someone, try Frank Duckworth and Tony Lewis. Or the game umpires. Or the Organisers. Blame Canada. Hell, what about Mother Nature? Fuck blame.

I'm not in a happy place.

UPDATE: more blame and here's some more. Leave it alone guys, time to move on.

Heh! Good luck with your drivers test on Wednesday. And don't forget to do that stupid paralysis-inducing 90° head-turn observation on all side roads, if you don't get that right they bust you big time. Well... that's in Belville anyway. And when you've passed there'll be no excuse to come visit us more often!

The 8th ICC Cricket World Cup opening ceremony at the Newlands Stadium starts in five hours. The wind is a bit nasty, but they've prepared for any conditions so it should go off well. Very exciting stuff!

Lastly, some Daypop Top 40 links:

American Pie: 'Downing St dossier plagiarised' - channel4.com news

"The government's carefully co-ordinated propaganda offensive has taken an embarrassing hit after Downing Street was accused of plagiarism."

Anti Microsoft: 'Why doesn't MSN Work with Opera?' by Håkon Wium Lie, CTO of Opera Software and the man who proposed the CSS concept in 1994

"Microsoft and MSN have a history of trying to stop people from using the Opera browser. When trying to access MSN.com using the Opera7 browser, there are two visible problems. The purpose of this page is to document, in technical terms, what is going on."

I spent the five days over New Year's in George and Knysna, and although the Garden Route is one of the most scenic places in South Africa, it's definately good to be back home. Just before leaving for Yzerfontein I received my new digicam, which I also took to the Cricket Test at Newlands on Saturday - both albums will be up shortly.

After our 2-0 series win over Pakistan on Sunday, South Africa climbed to the top of the International Cricket Council standings, kicking Australia into second spot. Nice one boys!

Written and produced by Sello "Chicco" Twala, and sung by Busi Mhlongo, PJ Powers and Nokwazi Dlamini, "Welcome" is built around the sound of the African drum, symbolising the sending out of a message of welcome and celebration.