Top Ten Signs The Stress Is Getting To Santa

Via: Late Show with David Letterman: Top Ten Archive

10. He's begun selling elves on e-Bay
9. Giving every child in world a broken Slinky and a card that reads "Go nuts"
8. Complaining that he's a grown man "surrounded by midgets and red-nosed donkeys"
7. Yesterday in a quiet ceremony, converted to Islam
6. Has been making personal appearances wearing Mrs. Claus's red velvet gown
5. After first "Ho..." often trails off into silence
4. Long rambling addresses to elves about black helicopters
3. His "Christmas carols" contain a lot of rhymes with the word "Nantucket"
2. Violated longstanding agreement by outing Blitzen
1. He's down to 530 pounds