Things to be caught saying when the room is suddenly quiet

Via: http://www.everything2.com

You're at a party. You've had a few drinks, and are jolly and social. You're talking to someone you know, being a little more personal than normal, when all of a sudden, the song ends, or 11 minutes have passed and everyone in the room has run out of attention span, and the room is quiet, except for you. You haven't realized that everyone can hear you. You haven't realized that you're still yelling to talk over what used to be a loud party. These are the worst things you could have been saying...

• My apartment is a dance club, a brothel, and a massage parlor.
• What is female ejaculation?
• Has anyone tried the forcible mounting of an ass?
• What is the normal size of a penis? Is my penis big enough?
• I can squish the cat until he makes a funny sound and his eyes bug out
• the problem is YOU'RE not paranoid ENOUGH!
• I'm feeling like a custard now
• I lived on day-old chocolate cocks for six months
• I Sucked A Lot Of Cock To Get Where I Am
• i was expecting it to hurt like a fuck